By Lauren Gaetano

I hated high school.  I mean, really hated it.  Not like the way people casually say they hate going to the dentist or the DMV.  I mean despised.  It wasn't that I was picked on or miserable or anything like that.  Socially, it was OK, or at least as OK as to be expected.  No, I hated high school as an institution.  I hated tests.  I hated homework.  I hated teachers.  I hated the insistence by everyone that these stupid Scantron sheets I filled out ad nauseum were not only important but would determine the rest of my life.  I knew that wasn't true.  It couldn't possibly be.  But there it was everyday, adults pushing me this way and that, saying with an absolutely straight face that the math class I choose to take when I am 17 will send me on the path to triumph or ruin.  I hated it.  I hated it to the point where I considered not going to college, just going out and being a cake decorator.  "Cake Decorator" actually came up as an option on my career assessment.  I thought a cake decorator was as noble a destiny as any.  I like cake.

But I ultimately decided to go to college anyway.  I was assured it would be "different."  And low and behold, it actually was.  That was the one bit of truth I was ever told in high school, and for me it made all the difference in the world.  You see in college, nobody cares.

This is horrifying to some people.  There are people out there who, quite understandably, like other people caring about them.  It gives them comfort to know that their teachers are looking out for them, minding whether or not they've done their homework, giving you that extra little push.  They like the idea that if they skip a class, they will be missed.  "Where's Jenny?" someone will say.  It's not like that in college, at least not at a major state university.  You are pretty much on your own.

Most likely, and almost certainly in your first couple of years, your teacher will not know who you are.  You could pass them in the street and they wouldn't notice you.  Many teachers often do not care whether or not you do your homework.  You could not hand it in for weeks with nary a peep from them.  In fact, you could sleep through an entire class without anyone noticing at all.  Just because no one notices you, however, doesn't mean you won't fail. 

And this, I think, is where people run into trouble.  Some people out there panic at the thought of living without constant feedback and a tight structure.  It's as if the rug of order and reason as been pulled out from under them, and they are left flailing about.  "What do you mean that paper is due today?  You didn't tell me!"  Ah, but it is on the syllabus.  The syllabus for these people will become their most hated enemy, a photocopied replacement for an actual teacher. 

Still others mistake not caring for not grading.  Suddenly they have been presented with this inordinate amount of freedom.  Don't feel like sitting through accounting?  Don't!  You can do that now.  You can declare your own sick days, and determine that no work, really, should be done at home.  What they fail to realize is that not doing the homework may or may not affect your letter grade, but showing up to a test not knowing what you are doing certainly will.  And doing the homework sometimes ensures you know exactly what you're doing, but not always.  You have to figure out the difference for yourself.  In college, you have to work for your education.  It is not willingly handed to you, and you are not a captive audience.  No one is there to hold you by the hand anymore.  It can be overwhelming.

But for me?  Well, I hate handholding.  I loved being able to decide for myself which lectures were worth attending and what homework was a waste of my time.  I loved that no one lead you around, explaining why such and such a course will do nothing for your resume and you would be a fool, FOOL, not to take a certain other course.  The guidance was there, you just needed to seek it out.  Which meant the only noses stuck in my business were the ones I invited in.  And I loved it.  I still hated school, but at least I could do it on my terms.   

Not all colleges are like this.  If the idea of essentially being dumped into an educational system and being told to make your own way frightens you, there are smaller schools that can give you exactly what you need.  But a larger school, for all its faults, can allow a student something extremely valuable if they understand the circumstances.  It can offer you a chance to customize.  It can offer you the chance to figure things out your way.  I may have screwed up here and there, but they were my mistakes, and I feel I've learned more from them than from anything I learned in high school.

College is scary.  It’s the anti-high school.  But if you are self-aware enough and disciplined enough to know your strengths and limitations, it can reap its own unique rewards.  And to a lot of us, an anti-high school is exactly what we need.

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