By Corinne Flax

December 1, 2006

Three Ham Party

I literally just wrestled myself out of bed, and now that I’ve finally got myself out I realize I’ve already started daydreaming about getting back in. Thanksgiving break really has got me messed up. Five whole days, and I used to be satisfied with four back when I was in school. Private schools are amazing, they give you the day before off, probably because half the students were jetting off to St. Thomas or whatever. Probably not St. Thomas, come to think of it, that’s just where people I knew in elementary school went and I was always jealous.

So let’s see, what’s going on...hm...not a whole hell of a lot right this second, seeing how I just woke up. Last night I cleaned the bathroom and made granola, which was prep work for the Three Ham Party that Leah and I are throwing tonight. There’s actually only going to be one ham and then various ham products, but it’s all going to taste delicious. My sister and I get so excited about food, it’s a little inappropriate. Probably it’s the lack of sex, but whatever, food is damn good.

Tonight we’re having 15+ people up here for a post Thanksgiving feast of epic proportions. Amazingly I’m not even going to be cooking. Leah’s staying home from work to just cook all day, meanwhile I’ll be in class. So who’s the luckiest girl in the world? Oh, it’s me! Amusingly we only have nine chairs, one of which is a rocker, and there’s going to be way more people then nine up here. We asked our guests to bring wine or dessert, we should have asked for lightweight collapsible furniture. I’ve decided to finish this blog tomorrow, after the party.

Time Passes....

So the party was lovely! Almost everyone was out of here by 10:00, which felt weird, but then it was a Tuesday night. The food was amazing, Leah really out did herself. The only fly in the ointment was the realization that the ham that she had chosen was partially cooked, instead of fully cooked. Suddenly the estimated cook time of an hour and a half went up to two and a half hours. Luckily there were enough appetizers to hold everyone over till the ham got out of the oven. Some people went a little heavy on the wine though, what with the lack of dinner. This had predictable consequences. How does one get wine out of a polyurethane desk?

At any rate the ham party has come and gone and I’ve done the dishes, mopped the floor, shook out the table cloth, and am finally home alone with a pile of work to do and little or no will to do it. Oh well, just a few more days til the weekend. Then I can sit back, relax, and write my final paper for Seminar. That’ll certainly be exciting. Nothing like synthesizing educational theory into a retrospective paper that highlights the use of said theory in the classroom. Yes sir, nothing like it at all.

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November 10, 2006

Sex

Let’s talk about sex for a minute here. Sure there are other less complicated things I could discuss, like how I’ve suddenly realized that the fate of most working Americans is to not see the sun except on weekends. It is also tempting to continue my train of thought on internships and my total lack of experience with and knowledge of this (apparently), integral aspect of higher education. Certainly it would be possible for me to discuss the paper or ‘reflection’ that I have to write on museums which are centered around a specific ethnic group. All of these things could happen but you know, and I know, we’d all much rather be thinking about, talking about, or even having sex.

I’ve always enjoyed sex, both in its actuality and in its more conceptual forms. Talking about sex, while certainly not as good as having it, is fulfilling in its own way. The thing is sex is all around me every day in New York. All I have to do is look at an advertisement for Bud Light in the subway and it gets slammed in my face. My friends are doing it, my coworkers are doing it, and according to some recent studies more of my fifth graders are doing it then is really safe or healthy. As I drift through the seething sea of the city, buffeted on all sides by advertisements, shop windows, and thousands and thousands of people I am always alert to the implied promise that the city makes. Yet like any promise which is implied but not spoken the city’s promise to me, that I will meet someone who is interesting, funny, smart, alert, charming, handsome, and able to maintain a conversation with me for more then 5 minutes has yet to be kept.

The reason I’m thinking about this slightly more then normal is two fold. First off a friend of mine (male), recently told me that he literally thinks about sex all the time. I then had to wonder, what am I walking around thinking about, and are men just all walking around thinking about sex all the time? If men walk around thinking about sex all the time, what are women thinking about? That line of thought hasn’t gotten me anywhere yet, but I’ll keep you informed. Secondly I’ve been thinking about sex because two friends have recently tried to set me up with men.

The first was sort of a mercy set up: I was at a wedding without a date and was sat next to a single guy. Presumably the hope was that this man and I would ‘hit it off’. We didn’t hit it off, but he was ok, and I was happy to have someone to dance with. The second set up was much more of a mess. It was at that Halloween party I went to last weekend. Clearly my friend had tipped off the gentleman as to my availability as well as informing me that she was ‘so excited’ for me to meet this guy. Well let me say, I was not as excited. All I can tell you about him was his Halloween costume (lawn jockey), other then that nothing he said or did made much of a ripple with me. When I left he was very polite and told me how nice it had been to meet me. It was all very polite and formal, not sexy at all. So, well, so nothing. I’ve got no ending to this post, and that’s just gonna be the way it is.

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November 03, 2006

Intern

Thursday nights when I was at Drew were all about going over to the sports suites, our approximation of fraternities and sororities, and getting drunk off keg beer. Often times a soccer player would end up dangling off a balcony, the women’s rugby team would fight the soccer girls, and in general a messy time would be had by all. Even though I’m out of college Thursdays have still retained their mystique. This day that falls before the actual end of the week lures people into thinking it would be a good idea to go out in anticipation of a good weekend.

I chose to stay home tonight, and I just want to make this point clear; I could have gone out and met up with people. I opted out of social engagements by choice! By choice I stayed home and typed up a report for my observation and recording class, reworked my resume, did some laundry, and am writing this blog. Tomorrow night I’m not going out either, but don’t worry I’m not losing my mojo or whatever, I’m heading to Worcester on Saturday for a delayed Halloween party. Halloween in November! What’s next, Thanksgiving in April? Actually, my family used to do that, and it’s really fun.

Today was my last day out at PS 51 in the Bronx. I’m feeling a mix of relief and sadness. My kids, my kids, my kids! They are/were just so damn cute it cut me up inside. I know that I’m not supposed to think kids are cute, after all they’re not little puppies or kitties. Oh no, they’re little people, with real people feelings and needs...and that just makes them cuter! My next placement is at The School of Columbia, a private school where Columbia professors send their kids. It’s going to be fifth grade classroom which will be a big change from hanging out with six year olds.

What has suddenly dawned on me is that come April I will be an intern, and this means I have to apply for the job. I haven’t actually had to apply for a job in a couple years, and haven’t had to apply for anything since the whole graduate school thing. I just scraped my resume together and I feel like it’s a little pathetic. There’s a whole bunch of Starbucks and not much else. I didn’t hold down a job for more then 4 months for about a year and a half after I graduated from Drew. This is possibly not what future employers are looking for.

The question becomes what do people looking for interns look for? I know interning is the wave of the future, especially here in New York where there’s about a million different places. I even know people my own age who have their own interns. My sister has been an intern in three or four different places. I have never been an intern, but I will be soon, and I’m wondering what this will mean.

As a follow up question, and somewhat of a rhetorical one at that I ask: What do teachers do with all the cards children give them? I’ve amassed a fairly large stack of cards from my class at PS 51. While I don’t want to throw them away I’m not sure if I can let them stay in my life, I’ve got quite a lot of paper already. Any suggestions out there?

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October 28, 2006

Yet Another One of Those Days

If you follow the general drift of my feelings lately you will realize that my thinking something is not necessarily a good thing for everyone involved. The past few weeks have certainly not been hellish for me, rather they have been difficult. I, like most red blooded Americans, despise difficulty. THAT WAS A GROSS GENERALITY Difficulty is an obstruction in the way of progress, and progress is everything, except that I of course don’t really feel like that, nor is it expected of me to feel like that.

As a teacher you call the difficulties that obstruct progress ‘teachable moments’ and you look for them. This is one of those states of mind that don’t come naturally to me. It’s not so much that I want to plow through problems or that I’d like to climb over them and triumph, nor do I want to sit there with my little chisel and carefully pick my way through them. Instead when I see a problem, a difficulty in my way I have one instantaneous reaction: Let’s go somewhere else instead. This is not an option anymore, and probably was never a good one. You know what they say, running from your problems never solves them.

So now the question is what are these problems that seem to be obsessing and fixating me in such an unpleasant manner? Essentially the question is commitment. I’ve always had problems committing myself to ideas and ideals, much preferring to go off on my own a little ways and watch things from the ideological sidelines rather then taking an actual position. Oh sure, I know how to talk the talk, replicate the look of devotion to principles, I certainly can speak impassionedly about varied aspects of Museum Education, Education in general and other aspects of life not related to my graduate studies. Seriously though, it’s all hot air. I’d much rather be walking around alone with my headphones on then anything else.

Which brings me to my next point. I love this city. Every scum covered trod upon inch. Even when I hate people I still love the things they create and the way they go about living with what they have wrought. Sometimes I wonder if this shouldn’t just be enough. Could I take a truly menial job, something janitorial and disgusting, drop out of school and just spend my days in laborious work, my mind flying wherever it wills? Doubtful, still it sounds romantic in a desperate dark way. I’m sure I would succumb to Marvin Syndrome (Marvin being a robot in Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy), and complain that there I was ‘brain the size of the universe’ scrubbing up the sputum of the world.

Still though it would be nice to be valued for my ability to heft a mop rather then string together a curriculum that both addresses statewide mandates and the need for hands on concrete experiences within a non-classroom context.

Send comments to: corinne@college-admission-essay.com

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