By Amanda S. Halm

“Miss Misery,” possibly the saddest song ever recorded is playing on his CD player. We are sitting in an airport parking garage and the lyrics seemed to apply only to us. Jake used to play the same song to get me to sleep in college, now we are listening to it for the last time before my flight home.

“You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I’ve seen in a magazine
That you left lying around
I don’t have you with me but
I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, miss misery
Like you say you do?”

Jake wouldn’t be there to wake me up in the morning. He would be living two thousand one hundred and seven miles away. He would be fighting the rain and I would be shoveling out of 20 inches of snow. We would be experiencing different climates, time zones, and topography; he in Seattle and me in Chicago.

It was a shake-up year for me. I was temporarily losing my college sweetheart to a marketing job in the corner of the country. For the first time, I had to really think about what I wanted for our future. During college we never had any such problems arise. We were the happy couple living in the dorms seeing each other almost everyday. A month after his first job interview I was saying goodbye, not really knowing when I would see him again.

Being a hopeless romantic, I was under the impression that the airport goodbye was tragic and beautiful. When I said goodbye to Jake it was tearful and slightly awkward. Underneath my aviator sunglasses, I let the tears flow freely, while trying to salvage some privacy. For a second, I even wondered if I could be the one in the movie who doesn’t get on the plane and stays behind for the love of her life. I even wondered if this relationship had any chance with miles between us.

Serious relationships are subject to a number of tests and this was surely one of them. It is easy to be pulled in one direction while wanting to go in another, which was the hardest thing about being in a relationship as a twenty-something. I got on the plane that day because I was confident enough that Jake and I would surely pass this test.

During freshman year most of my roommates had boyfriends who attended schools a couple of hours away. The first few months were the most painful. They tearfully relayed how difficult it was to make the high-school to college transition while dating someone having a completely different experience at another university.

I didn’t understand their situation because I had barely dated in high-school and arrived at college fresh and single. I befriended my roommates and witnessed years of long-distance hell. Some of their relationships lasted all four years through long phone conversations and weekend visits. Some people chose to transfer to their loved one’s school of choice and some couples broke up.

I realized that if Jake and I had any future, I had to let him pursue his, “dream job.” I knew him well enough to know that he needed to take this opportunity. I loved him enough to let him go.

The long-distance relationship can be a blessing in disguise because being away from your significant other can make you see things in yourself you never noticed before. Between the phone calls and weekend visits, I developed friendships and hobbies that had nothing to do with Jake. When you are alone, you have time to focus on yourself rather than giving all of your energy to the other person. It also made me greatly appreciate every moment we have together now because I know it is fleeting.

In the grand scheme of things, our relationship is just a growing baby. Jake and I have just exited college, which I like to think of as the last playpen before the real world. This is the first major bump of many we will face as a couple. We will have to work as a team through many much more serious trials and tribulations. If you are in a serious relationship, you will too. It is time now to master communicating and working together because you don’t know what the future holds.

Going long-distance can mean growing together or growing apart. It is important that you remember that if it is meant to be, let it happen. Don’t try to hold onto love if the other person doesn’t feel the same way because you could be missing something real. Just remember, that if you have to be away from each other it will be a challenge, but it won’t be the first one. It might even make your relationship stronger!

>>Back To College Dating Articles