By Evan Bailyn

The dream of being accepted to an Ivy League school always tantalized me. So when I received my letter of admission from Columbia, I was launched into a feeling of bliss that lasted for the whole of my senior year. It was one of the first times in my life that I felt like I had a tangible asset, an achievement that would always be a proud part of my identity.

My senior year in high school was special even before I was accepted to Columbia, though. I had just moved to Great Neck, a town on the north shore of Long Island, after sixteen years of living on the south shore, in Oceanside. My junior year in Oceanside was difficult for me, so it was a true relief to be able to start over in a new high school. I also had a girlfriend and a group of friends from Great Neck, so the transition was exceptionally smooth.

Then it came time to leave for college. All of the wonder that had comprised my senior year of high school suddenly turned to anxiety. I had just moved to a new place, made new friends, and gotten comfortable - why did I have to move again? I knew I wanted to have a “normal” college experience and party like a rock star at the dorms, but I also knew that my fear of moving away from home would thwart my plans.

I did not overcome my fears and have the amazing first year I planned. The truth is, I felt a little lost at Columbia. The part of Manhattan was spooky to me, the campus was stony and cold, and the students were militantly intellectual. It seemed as if there wasn't going to be any niche for me. Plus, I was dating a girl from Long Island and the temptation to go home on weekends was stronger than ever. During my freshman year, I slept at home one or two nights a week.

College improved the year after, although I still went home frequently. My junior year, I got a really fun job and started going out with my co-workers. Additionally, I joined a non-hazing fraternity. Nights at home were soon replaced by nights out with different groups of friends, and I started to feel comfortable at college. By senior year, I was having such a great time at school that I started writing down all my experiences so I would never forget them.

The reason why I was able to overcome a rocky freshman year and come out of college a better, more enriched person is the key to the advice I will give you now: get out and do things. Even if you’re like me and don’t really fit into most organizations and clubs, just go to a meeting or two and see how you like it. Some of them will be obvious duds, but others, even the wackiest-sounding sort of group, might turn into the next phase of your social life. After all, what you join doesn’t really matter; it’s the group of people you meet. You could be locked in somebody’s basement studying mold cultures for 12 hours a week and I guarantee you that if there were interesting people there, you’d have a blast.

I know that not everyone is the fraternity/sorority or poetry club type; but no matter who you are, there is some grouping of human beings somewhere that will appeal to you. Heck, even if you go bar-hopping every Thursday through Sunday night – good for you, that’s a social niche. Just go easy on the tequila.

If you’re still worried, keep in mind that freshman year is difficult for almost everybody. Don't listen to the masses who claim to be having “the best time ever” or who say that “college is sooo amazing.” The reality is, college can be awesome; but in the beginning, most kids struggle. My advice to you is just to be slightly more social than you feel like being, and you will soon see the dividends.

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