College Admission Essay

By Zoe Feldman

My mama always says, “If the good Lord gives you lemons, cut ‘em in half and put ‘em in your bra where they’ll do you some good.” Rhetorically speaking, I think that’s pretty sound advice. Well, the good Lord gave me my height. All four feet and ten inches of it. Being a seventeen year old who can pass for a preteen does have its downsides. Having to stand on a box to see over the pulpit during my Bat Mitzvah was a bit of a pain. Finding clothes that fit and are not adorned with lace, frills, and dancing bunny rabbits is often a formidable task. Keeping myself from snapping at gas station attendants who repeatedly call me “little girl” takes considerable willpower. Despite these drawbacks, though, I have discovered that being vertically challenged has many advantages.

Looking young provides financial benefits. Often, I am charged the children’s price at movie theaters and restaurants without even being asked my age. That seems fair; I don’t take up more room or eat more than your average twelve year old anyway. Besides, such discrepancies make up for all the times I have been barred from half the rides at amusement parks because I wasn’t as tall as the mark on the sign.

Shortness can also have a liberating effect in the romantic arena. Unlike my taller peers, I will never have to worry about a guy being intimidated by my height, nor will I be tempted to slouch to make myself seem a more suitable dance partner. Finding a mate who’s taller than me and one who can carry me across a threshold are also non-issues. When I go out, I won’t be constrained to flats for fear that high heels will cause me to tower over my date.

If I want to go into sports, I don’t have to be seven feet tall to be in demand. My slight build would make me an excellent jockey. As a coxswain, too, my size would be an attribute. Controlling a boat and shouting orders to the rowers has a rather appealing sound.

There are also professions where smallness would be a virtue. I’m thinking espionage. Incognito, I would be invincible. Who would suspect a cute little girl with pigtails of being an international spy? No one would think to search my lunchbox for stolen documents. My size would also make me well suited to work with children, perhaps as a pediatrician or a children’s rights lawyer. I might be better able to secure cooperation and trust from my patients or clients because of my non-threatening stature. My ability to fit into small places would also be beneficial if I were a firefighter or a member of a rescue squad.

As you can see, there are many advantages to being under five feet tall. Don’t feel sorry for me because I can’t reach the cereal box on the top shelf at the grocery store. Instead, be glad I know how to use my lemons.

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